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Our P84 chip in your brain and our lense in your eye allows for instant and direct access to the internet.

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Our chips are powerful machines and are connected to each other, thereby making all users transmitters..

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There's no need for phones or computers. Access emails or your Facebook account just by thinking it.

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Come down to our clinic today and we will insert your new favourite toy into your brain and eye within just 1 hour and guaranteed life-long happiness will be yours.

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Want to tweet that you were standing in line for ice cream and then accidentally farted in the boy's face behind you? All you have to do is think it! Our tech's so fast sometimes it posts before you even think it!

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We are hard at work to bring safer methods of implementing chips into the brains of users. Over the past 4 months we have decreased the amount of incidents so you have almost nothing to fear!